What are signs of low emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ), according to “Psychology today”, refers to the capability of an individual to identify and control her and others’ emotions. Emotional Intelligence is considered to manifest itself in three skills: emotional awareness, relationship management and self-management.

R. Boyatzis and D. Goleman found 12 domains (4 each) specifying and elucidating skills defining EQ. Source

Here are the signs of low EQ, according to 4 different sources, (I chose the primary ones, hopefully, objectively)

1. Not apologizing. Your ego stands on your way of admitting your fault and making another person feel better. Which one is more important? Your ego, or someone else’s well being?
2. Internal drive toward pessimism and almost nonexistent problem-solving skills during hard times.
3. Lack of interest in people.
4. Not being judicious and prudent in recognizing people, their character, strengths and weaknesses.
5. Lack of empathy.
6. Not being able to handle criticism without anxiety, blame, or excuses.
7. Missing cues from people around, not being attentive to details about people’s personalities and their reactions to you.
8. Inclination towards being manipulated, particularly by ideologies or people focusing on your personal problems.
9. Not praising people who deserve it. Being resentful in some way or another.
10. Not being grateful for things you do or don’t have.
11. Lack of emotional self-control. Well, that one was obvious.
12. Lying. People with high EQ not only don’t lie, but also don’t sugarcoat the truth. Once a wise man said: “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with the lie”. This quote is personally valuable to me and so true. By being almost disrespectfully truthful, you might hurt a man for a day or two, but by lying to him, you will hurt him for life.

Photo: People who have low emotional intelligence are often reminiscent of young children…………

People with low emotional intelligence…

.…tend to not understand the emotions of people around them.

…..tend to have weak interpersonal communication skills.

…tend feel misunderstood.

…tend to be insecure.

…tend to make excuses.

…tend to have difficulty resolving conflicts in an positive and/or constructive manner.

…tend to be envious of those people who have high emotional intelligence.

…tend to value form over substance.

…tend to down play the importance of emotions.

…tend to see the world as hostile and uninviting.

…tend to be resentful.

…tend to be unaware of their emotional triggers.

…tend be unable self-sooth.

…tend to hold grudges.

…tend to rely on feelings rather than facts.

…tend to have a difficult time admitting they have made a mistake.

…tend resent authority.

…tend to be abrupt.

…tend to have unexpected emotional melt downs.

…..tend to have a lot of interpersonal conflicts, fights, arguments.

…tend to lack empathy.

…tend to have difficulty expressing how they feel.

…tend to belittle or diminish those who have notable skills at doing anything they themselves find challenging.

….tend to reflexively be oppositional if they perceive they are being told what to do.

…tend to avoid introspection..

….tend to crave approval while at the same time are stingy givingShush compliments to others.

…tend to be easily offended.

…tend to make fast assumptions.

…tend to act impulsively.

…tend to make poor judgements.

…tend to present as wooden, expressionless, and emotionless.

…tend to have a hard time describing their own emotions.

…tend to hold their negative emotions inside them

…tend to internally feel stressed, anxious, and unstable.

…tend to be see other people’s success as a personal threat.

…tend to blame others when it comes to their own emotional problems.

…tend to not acknowledge the achievements of others.

…tend to think those who disagree with them are too sensitive.

…tend to have a problem making and keeping friends.

..tend to come across to others as cold and uncaring.